And just like that, it’s the end of an era. My van is gone and I live in a house like a normal person right now and I’ve had a lot to process over these last several weeks of transitions.
I moved to Washington (rather abruptly) at the end of October, sold my van at the end of November and since then have been enjoying all the comforts that living in a house offers, while letting myself get out a few times to do some semi-local outdoor adventures. And by that I mean I have mostly just been relaxing and trying to replenish my energy bank and motivation from three years of pure exhaustion, because by the time I moved, my energy levels were somewhere between zero and negative one million, if that’s at all possible. I knew for a fact that I needed to be in one place for a while and for a number of reasons, but the transition from van to house came SO quickly, and now that my van is gone… it’s weird. Even though I was ready for this and I need it so badly, part of me wasn’t ready, and my entire life feels turned upside down right now.
Breck was the most constant and (thankfully) reliable thing in my life over the past few years. He’s been my adventure vehicle, my home, my safe place. From an empty cargo van to the most perfect little home, through lots (and lots) of blood, sweat and tears, he’s brought me endless adventures, friendships and memories. He was always there for me. When I didn’t know what the heck I was doing and was questioning everything. When I would idle in a parking spot for ages, trying to figure out where I was sleeping that night. When I wanted to wake up at 4am for a sunrise adventure. When I would drive 20 hours in a day because I stayed too long at a place that I didn’t want to leave until the very last possible second, or because I was just too excited to get to my next destination.
My motto that I have lived by in all my time traveling is if there is any chance at all that you’d regret NOT doing something, then you should do it. Or even better put, the line I quote way too often from We’re the Millers: “No ragrets, not even a single letter” (horrible movie, great line). I had wrestled with the decision to sell Breck for much of this year, especially the final few months as the reality of it grew more and more. But keeping with my “no ragrets” mentality, I know that this was the right decision for me. I got everything that I possibly could have out of #vanlife, and am a completely different person from the timid and clueless me that flew out to Colorado to go pick my van up back in July 2018. And as hard as it is to let go, it’s time to move on now and be a little more stationary for a while.
So here’s to the van that has watched me me laugh, cry, sing and dance without judgement. That brought me new and old friendships, relationships and experiences. That would always be there when it was time to move on from somewhere or someone. To the van that was down for constant adventure. That would be just as dirty as I was after an adventure down a trail or long dirt road, and still look dang good. To the van that brought me to some of my favorite places I have ever been, and some of the best memories I’ll ever have. To the van that has truly seen more of the United States in the past two and a half years than most people will their entire lives. To the van that watched me change and grow more than I could have ever imagined.
Farewell for now, Breck, and thank you for everything. I hope to see you out on the road someday again. Cheers to constantly growing and making the right decisions, as hard as they may be. And cheers to the next big adventure, whatever that my look like (because I’m still pretty unsure). 🚐 💕
Never Stop Traveling 